Losing Control
by Syody x
Summary: Kusanagi loses control and fails an assignment. Knowing that what happens is what happens, she accepts the consequences. The consequences she creates for herself. Vignette


**Title:** Losing Control

**Summary:** Kusanagi loses control and fails an assignment. Knowing that what happens is what happens, she accepts the consequences. The consequences she creates for herself. (Vignette)

**Author's Note:** First fic warning.

**/ _Begin_ /**

It couldn't be changed. Not any more; not after what had happened.

She'd lost control; lost what was needed most, more than anything in this game, facing down a terrorist holding information that Sector 9 needed; information that could have changed the outcome of this war. And she'd let him slip under her defense. And what had happened would never change. Because she lost control.

_"Are you coming with me or not?"_

_Major Motoko Kusanagi's arm never moved. Most humans couldn't hold a gun outstretched (and more so fixed at a target) for more than a minute._

_Kusanagi had held her gun, pointed at his head, for the last ten minutes. Not once had her arm moved and not once had she changed position. The man she had in her sights was one Herem Knight, leader of the underground crime group called "Sancrosect". She was under orders to bring him in, at any cost, alive._

_Kusanagi had been working this case for seven weeks, and the toll was finally getting to her. She'd lashed out at the other members of Sector 9 two days ago, yelling at all of them for imagined slights. Aramaki had tried to calm her down, and she'd turned on him, too. She had stormed out of the headquarters and gone to her apartment, returning the next day as if nothing had happened._

_Major Kusanagi disabled the in/out communications before slipping into the office, drawing her gun, and demanding the crime lord's cooperation._

_Ten minutes later and her gun was still pointed at his head._

_Herem Knight tilted back in his chair._

_"No, I'm not." He smiled at her, ankles crossed, head tilted at just the right angle to show he was not taking her seriously._

_Kusanagi ground her teeth slightly._

_"I will kill every last person in this complex if you do not move, now." She used her gun to swiftly point towards the door. Then it was once again back to his head._

_"Do you want a remnant of your organization to survive or not!" Kusanagi was running out of patience._

_Knight folded his hands behind his head. "Some how I think they'll manage to survive, even if I don't move. And how, exactly, is it that you plan on killing everyone?"_

_Through gritted teeth she replied. "Once I've gotten you loaded on the plane, I'm going to drop a small bomb, just big enough to blow this place up."_

_Knight was completely unfazed._

_"You know you can't do that -- there's innocent people in here that have no idea what they really work for. And besides -- you can't drop any bomb without clearance from your boss. And you know that your threat will not be carried out." His smile slid into a smirk. "You're not trusted anymore, Major Kusanagi Motoko. You have to be kept on a tight leash. Tight enough to control you, loose enough so you won't turn and bite."_

_If looks could kill, hers would have been sufficient._

_However, he never had time to see it._

She'd killed someone she was under orders to bring back, _alive_.

Back at headquarters, Kusanagi faced down her superior. She recited everything that had happened, word for word. Not necessary, since her optical and audio feeds were recorded. But it was important to her that she told Aramaki exactly what had happened.

Kusanagi finished the report.

Before Aramaki said anything, she held up her right hand.

"I know fully what I have done. I acted against orders. I broke under the situation and killed a man I was supposed to bring in."

She brought up her other hand. A briefcase was in the white-knuckled fist. She took a step forward and laid it on the desk. Opening it, she pulled out a thick stack of papers and shoved them towards Aramaki.

"These are official papers of resignation." She leafed through the stack and jerked out some printed on red paper.

"These, as I am sure you know, are full permission papers to remove any -- and all -- cybernetically enhanced parts that Section 9 had outfitted me with."

She took a deep breath that got caught in her chest. She blinked twice, rapidly, willing away any trace of wetness or weakness.

"Since my yearly salary isn't enough to pay for storage or a new body, much less maintenance, I have included a note not to keep my Ghost alive.

I'll see you on the other side, sir, if God is really there."

And with that she walked out the door.

Two days later, a cybernetically enhanced body was removed from a Ghost.

And the small child inside of a woman's body finally went to sleep, clutching a tiny, exquisite ... perfect white paper crane.

**/ _Fin_ /**

My first fan fiction, ever. I've seen about four SAC episodes and the first movie about eight times, so any errors or general AU is not intentional.


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